Tuesday, June 13, 2006

sick . whu am i . {Dae 5}

13 JUNE 2006 ,TuesdaE { DaE 5}
nothin to blog about todae actually..no mood at all..haiz..have been callin for e job application since afternoon..guess wat..it still e same lo..even there is an available vacancy for e position..but i'm not PR..wat else can i ask? haiz..they just dunno my situation at all..if i dun get a job 1st..how can i apply for e PR? but to them..if i did not get e PR 1st..then how to apply for e job..WTF..so troublesome..anyway..i wont giv up de..it jz e beginnin..no nid to worry..i'm sure i can get e job asap! n prove to u all..I CAN DO IT de~~!!! hurmp!!! ^@^

next..in my mind..keep wondering..WAT AM i ? WHO AM i ? can anyone tell me? i guess not..well..u all may not noe e answer for this Ques too bah..rite? haha. my life is gettin FAN n MORE FAN le. there are so many things tht i nid to take care with..family..frenz..love's one..job..future..etc..ARGH..i realli duno how to handle all these shit by myself. haiz..i think everyone oso got his/her own problems bah. how do u all handle huh? can teach me? sigh~~ i was thinkin..why everytime e outcum is totally different frm wat i've expect? sigh~~~ mayb i'm realli bad in guessing? hoho..whu noe..or mayb is me like to cheat myself? mayb i just dun wish to accept e fact..e reality..keep hiding..avoiding..frm e problems/troubles..ya..tht's right..i'm just being stubborn..i've tried so hard to deceive myself..in the end..i've only got myself to blame..wat a pathetic life for me..i am a failure..haiz..haiz..haiz..

i got this feeling since i was young(eh..not tht old nw thou ;p)..tht's e feeling of a failure..ya..my mum always scolded me bcz of it..bcz of my indecisiveness too. i nvr planned for my future..nvr planned for wat i wan to do..wat is good for me..she's worried about how am i goin to survive in e future..haha..i oso cant answer this ques..alamak..wasted my 20 yrs of life le..sigh..n i am e one whu does not cherish e thing well too. when e problem cums, always blame here n there, nvr go n think of W-H-Y!! always must wait until e thing gone liao..then realised tht..oh..is my..ownself's wrong..n started to regret. but wat's e point of being regret..after sometimes..i will still change bc to e devil's side of me..i just cant kick this bad habit away..damn..i noe if i still carry on like this..still behave like a child..then i wont achieve any thing in my life de. even there is someone whu is willing to help me..oso is useless de lo..cz..i am e onli one whu can help myself. so guyz..rem to remind me of this..dun let me 一错再错 ok?

and for those..whu i've hurt before..i'm realli sorry k?..i did not aware of my foolishness. for many times.."as i duno how to express my feeling well"..i've been using it as an excuse..i knew it..i was so stupid..haha..i did not realli show how much i care for e ppls ard me..but..rite now..i'm gonna to tell u all..yes..everybody..whu noes me..tht ALL OF U..are veri important to me..i nid ur support..even if we're not tht close..but once a fren, forever fren..even if it is a simple msg - 'HI'..to me..it is an energy..it shows to me tht there is still hv someone whu care about me..still hv someone whu rem me..that is enuf for me ald. SO..anyone of U..dun try to leave me alone k? any bu shuang de..must tel me k? only true fren will tells e truth to U...hee. *bleah* ^@^

haha..tht's all for todae bah..in the end..i still wrote so much rubbish..lalala~ so..let's JIAYOU together..n we all will stays together forever n ever too de~~~!!! muakcz...nite...JAH~! :)

{ Daili HoroscoPE }
Letting things go will lighten your load, make you feel good and free you up to fly even higher, so don't get hung up on keeping everything little thing you have. Sacrifice a little bit of control and loosen your grip on the things you love the very most -- you will see that they will stick around anyway. It's a confirmation of love and loyalty that you richly deserve -- and a lesson in releasing control. This is going to be an educational day.

Heart Bleeding @ 6/13/2006 10:51:00 PM